All Things Monica

Yes, I’m neglecting my blog, but I can’t help it. I have been super busy with classes. I’m actually doing the work this time instead of procrastinating and squeaking by; that takes more time. Of course, that also means I should do better in my classes, and understand rather than just learning to pass a test.

I’m going for an interview tomorrow for a program that provides tutors that come to the student’s home. I’m really excited. I love to tutor and I’m pretty good at it, so it could be a perfect fit. This is to supplement my current job, but if I end up going to Kent for grad school, I might be able to transfer this job up there. I already checked that there’s an office in Akron. The pay is pretty good, so I wouldn’t have to use too many hours a week to make enough money. Of course, I’m hoping that I get enough grants etc. that I won’t NEED to work but could make some extra money.

I’ve mentioned that due to neurofeedback and avoiding HFCS, I’ve been feeling really good. I haven’t felt down in a long time (weeks). Then yesterday came. I got in the car to go to my mother’s for another treatment, and WHAM! I felt worse than I have in months. I didn’t care if I drove off the road, I wanted to go home and go to sleep, and it hurt to move or think. Where on earth did it come from? I called Matthias and my mom, and was better while I was on phone, but the minute I hung up, it was back in full force. Nothing was “wrong”, so why did I feel so incredibly awful? After leaving mom’s, I had to high-tail it to church for Praise Team practice. Usually, that lifts me up, but not last night. I’m not very good at letting other’s know when I’m down, so I just didn’t look anyone in the eye all night. I didn’t want to be there at all. I started trying to remember when this happened the last time, and that’s when it struck me. Both times, I’d had several McDonald’s sweet teas in just a few days! Could that be it? The other time, my therapist had informed me that sugar can wreak havoc with depression. I looked up the ingredients just to be sure it wasn’t HFCS, and lo and behold, they use real sugar. The moral of this story is that I absolutely cannot have more than one sweet tea in a week. That’s a bummer, but not nearly as bad as dealing with how I felt yesterday. Sugar may be better than HFCS, but it’s still sugar. Moderation, folks.

I’ve started classes again! I’m glad to be in class again, but nervous about getting everything done. Of course, that’s true at the beginning of every quarter. However, I’ve decided to approach things a little differently. In the past, I’ve done the bare minimum in studying at the beginning of a course, then if I don’t do well on a test (and I’m usually fine), then I study harder afterward. Well, that’s not a good way to do things. This time, I’m going to try to study super hard at the beginning then lighten up, if I can, later. To that end, I’m following the study method my uncle Bob used:

1) Read the material for the next class within 24 hour BEFORE that class.

2) Take notes during class, and not rely on printed Power Points from professors.

3) Note pages are divided into 3rd’s. The right 2/3’s is for in class notes.

4) Within 24 following class, I will pull out important information from the notes and mark that in the left third of the note page.

He said the purpose is to go over the material 4 times in a 48 hour period (reading, hearing lecture, taking notes, summarizing notes. He says his goal was always to “conquer a class”, not just pass! I’ll give it a shot and see how it goes.

I’ve been making a lot of good changes in my life. Before neurofeedback, I couldn’t have made one of them; I have always been mostly paralyzed by anxiety. Now, I see something that I want to change, and I just make the change! Thanks, Mom!

(My friends are rolling their eyes right now.)

The Gift of Fear is a book that I discovered a few years ago via Oprah. The author, Gavin de Becker, is phenomenal. He is an expert at predicting violent behavior. He talks about the fact that especially in Western society, we have pushed our instinct to the back. Instinct in animals (including humans) is driven by survival, so it stands to reason that it becomes important when you're in danger. We have this "gift of fear" to keep us alive. Because we don't listen to our instinct anymore, we often find ourselves in dangerous situations we could have avoided. Instinct is subconscious, so we don't "see" the things that could be dangerous, but our instinct kicks in to tell us. We have to start listening to it again.

For example, if a woman hears a unfamiliar man's voice from down the hall, and "something" tells her he's dangerous, she should LISTEN. We tell ourselves in our Western enlightenment, "Oh, you're imagining things. You have no reason to believe he's dangerous. Stop being crazy." I would rather be "crazy" and safe, then "logical" and dead. When you read his book, he tells you how to know when it's your instinct trying to save your life and when it's just you being paranoid for no reason (often, we think we're being paranoid when it's really our survival instinct).

I cannot stress the importance of this book enough. Every woman must read this book and every man should. I'm including a link to his web page (https://www.gavindebecker.com). I'm also including a link from CNN that includes the first chapter of his book (http://www.cnn.com/books/beginnings/9808/gift.of.fear.cnn/index.html). If that doesn't convince you, nothing will. If you don't want to buy the book (or borrow it from me), then go to the library. I consider this one of the most important books in existence; maybe only second to the Bible. READ IT!!!!

This was originally written (by hand) on January 31, 2006:

I've had a sort of epiphany over the last few days. As a Christian, I've heard numerous times that Christ lives in me and that my body is God's temple. I've started thinking more deeply about the obvious and not-so-obvious implications of this concept. It requires a paradigm shift to what I'm calling "Temple Thought." I know that this idea is not a new one, but its all-encompassing effects and how I should apply them are certainly new to me.

For instance, I like to stay up late. In fact, my mother says I've been a night owl since birth. Now, I'm not saying that I'll totally be changing my sleeping habits, but I need to be aware of how important, sleep is. My body needs to be well-rested to do/be my best. I must do/be my best if I want to glorify God with my best. Besides, would I deny Him rest? Of course not. Therefore, I also shouldn't deny rest to His temple.

However, that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It also affects my diet, finances, relationships, pastimes, etc. All of those (and more) can affect my body/mind/soul, thereby affecting the "temple." For example, if I have a problem with a friend, I must follow God's plan for reconciliation (Matthew 18:15-20). If I don't, I will feel stress, discontent, etc. Those emotions can have physical consequences, too.

For those reasons, in all things, I will try to focus on bringing glory to God through "Temple Thought."

Anyone who knows me for long knows that I'm slightly obsessed with office supplies and stationary. As long as I can remember, my absolute favorite part of every school year was buying new school supplies: the smell of just-sharpened pencils (of course, I only use mechanical .5 mm pencils now), the smooth unused notebook paper, the sharp "snap" of a new art box lid - a wave of delight for the senses. Though I try to reuse items now, don't think my ecstasy has dulled since then. Every quarter, I revel in getting my binder ready to be filled with new information! I have every section tabbed, labeled, divided and stocked with pristine, college-rules paper. (I get chills just thinking about it). I like to try different methods of organization, but the three-ring binder seems to be the most effective no matter what I do. I LOVE BINDERS! They're just so versatile, and the smell of new plastic brings back good memories of school days gone by. Once I even thought of starting my own business just so I'd have a relatively legitimate excuse to buy way more office supplies than any one person needs.

Don't EVEN get me started on pens! One of my favorite sayings is "You can never have too many bags, pens, or lip glosses."

Over the years, I've wondered why I'm so goofy about this stuff. I've decided it's at least in part related to my anxiety. I can't control the world around me or what happens to people suffering in other countries, but I CAN make sure my school work is organized. It may sound silly, but it works for me (and many others I suspect).

That's the serious reason, but don't forget how much fun they are. Do you have any idea how many different kinds of file folders there are?! Then there are planners, PDA's, highlighters, binder clips, notebooks, journals, etc. (OMG!). There are really funky ones, playful ones, trendy ones, elegant ones; just about anything you can imagine. I know that if I ever do have my own office, it will ROCK!

Yes, I'm fully aware that this is not normal. However, I can say with undiluted certainty that I fit right in with my cohorts (Rachel).

My grandmother, whom we call Mawmaw, went to the hospital today with shortness of breath. She’s 83, and my mom said that when older people go to the hospital often, it’s a sign that their body is wearing down. She was crying as she told me this. Later, she sent me a text letting me know that Mawmaw was stable, but that she was talking about being tired and wanting to go to Heaven. Emotionally, I think I shut down as soon as my mom called about her going to the hospital. That’s always been my automatic response to stress (not that it’s worked well for me). My grandparents helped raise me, and I still haven’t really grieved for Pawpaw, who died in 2001. Now I’m faced with losing Mawmaw and I’m numb. It may sound strange, but I really don’t feel much; however, that’s by unconscious design. I’m afraid that it would tear me apart to really feel the things that I think are buried deeply. I really love my grandparents, and losing Pawpaw was HUGE. I haven’t dealt with it because I don’t think I can. Now I may lose Mawmaw. They moved to Arizon when I was 16, and I shut off then. I didn’t call them very often or go visit because it hurt too much that I couldn’t see them everyday (talking to them reminded me of that). They are an enormous part of who I am today (at least the good parts), and I neglected my relationship with them. I’ve lost one; now I may lose the other. As I write this, I have that feeling in my chest when you’re starting to cry, so maybe I’m not as numb as I thought (5 therapists and countless meds later). I can only give this to God and trust that He will hold me up.

I still haven't had a coke, or even a craving for almost a week now, so that's awesome! I?m doing pretty well about staying away from sugar in general, HFCS and artificial in particular. I?m not sure how much of this is the new med or God, but either way I?m glad. I?m looking into getting better tennis shoes so I can walk more, too. I have VERY flat feet, so I can't just get any old shoe. I?m starting with inserts for arch supports, and that may be enough. I?ve also started wearing my pedometer again, though I?m not walking much yet. My friend said she'd go to a park with me to walk, so that'll be cool, too. It feels good to be starting these things; like we're really trying to do the best for the Temple, you know?

I have also noticed that all the changes I'm making used to be so overwhelming, I got no farther than wanting to make them. Now, I'm just doing it; not agonizing, not paralyzed by over-analysis, just action. I have to assume that the difference is mostly due to the neurofeedback. YAY!!

This may not be news to many of you, but it was to me. Due to a recent health condition, I was looking for information online that might aid me along with the medicine from my doctor. All the information I found said I should avoid all artificial sweeteners, High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS), bread, refined flour/sugar, etc. Those are things I should already have been avoiding due to my insulin issues from PCOS. Now I have more incentive. I have gone about one week into avoiding HFCS and artificial sweeteners. I couldn't believe the difference in that short amount of time. I have had absolutely NO cravings for any junk food, fast food, or Coke, all of which I used to live on. As if that's not amazing enough on its own, I have had an easier time getting to sleep, I have been satisfied on less food, and I haven't been as anxious. This led me to start asking more questions about HFCS.

I was sharing my revelation with my friend Marlene, and she had her own story about HFCS. She was in Scotland for school one year. They don't use HFCS there, so everything is made with real sugar. She and her friends partook of the normal sweets: cake, candy, etc., not noticing anything different. Then her mom sent a care package from home. They decided to eat the iced animals and study. However, they couldn't concentrate on anything, were bouncing off the walls for hours, and felt out of control. The next day, they were talking about what could have been going on that they should act so strange. The only difference they came up with was that the cookies contained HFCS!

I think we all know that the American diet leaves much to be desired, but this is far worse than unhealthy. I believe that HFCS is actively contributing to many of our nation's physical and mental health woes. There is a clear parallel between the increase in the use of HFCS and obesity in the US since the 70's. Unfortunately for us, it's much cheaper for Big Business to make products with HFCS than to use real sugar; and as we all know, this county cares far more about money than about our health. Beyond that, if we're sicker, Big Business (including "health" insurance) makes more money. Not to mention the fact that other countries won't put up with HFCS. "Outside of Canada, the United States is the only country with a significant consumption of high-fructose corn syrup, largely because other countries have erected successful trade barriers to protect sugar." (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/02/business/yourmoney/02syrup.html?_r=1) Cynicism aside, there are many reasons why HFCS should not be part of the diet of any human.

Prior to the 70's, everything in the US was sweetened or preserved with fructose from sugar cane, sugar beets, or molasses. At that time, manufacturers wanted a cheaper way to produce fructose, so they came up with a process to create corn syrup that is higher in fructose than regular corn syrup. "High fructose corn syrup is extremely soluble and mixes well in many foods. It is cheap to produce, sweet and easy to store. It's used in everything from bread to pasta sauces to bacon to beer as well as in "health products" like protein bars and "natural" sodas." (http://www.westonaprice.org/modernfood/highfructose.html#author#author) The problem with HFCS is not that it has fructose, but that it's an unnaturally derived version of it; our bodies were never meant to process this and cannot do so very well.

Michael F. Jacobson, director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a nutrition advocacy group that often criticizes the food industry, says that unlike sugar molecules, which reside in the stalks of sugar cane or the beets that are used to make sugar, high-fructose corn syrup is artificial because it is not found anywhere in corn. ... Produced in large manufacturing facilities scattered mostly across the flat, golden expanse of the American corn belt, high-fructose corn syrup is not a product that anyone could cook up at home using a few ears of corn. The process starts with corn kernels and takes place in a series of stainless steel vats and tubes in which a dozen different mechanical processes and chemical reactions occur - including several rounds of high-velocity spinning and the introduction of three different enzymes to incite molecular rearrangements.

 

The enzymes turn most of the glucose molecules in corn into fructose, which makes the substance sweeter. This 90 percent fructose syrup mixture is then combined with regular corn syrup, which is 100 percent glucose molecules, to get the right percentage of fructose and glucose. The final product is a clear, goopy liquid that is roughly as sweet as sugar.(http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/02/business/yourmoney/02syrup.html?_r=1)

Of course, the manufacturers say that their product is "natural" because it's made from corn. Not good enough: 1) it's genetically altered & molecularly modified, 2) even snake venom is "natural", that doesn't mean it's good for us. (By the way, the FDA does not regulate the use of the word "natural", so anyone can claim that on any product. By contrast, they do regulate how "organic" is defined.) Of course, the manufacturers maintain that there is no scientific evidence to support that our bodies process HFCS any differently than regular sugar. Yes, the amount of fructose and glucose is similar in both HFCS and sugar, but HFCS is not how God created sugar. Our bodies need the nutrients in unprocessed foods; the rest is empty filler at best and potentially very harmful for us.

I'm certainly not saying that we can eat as much natural sugar as we want; too much of anything is not ok. However, the farther we deviate from what God has created for us, the less beneficial and potentially the more harmful. Almost anything we eat in this country has been processed, and sugar of some kind (usually HFCS) is part of that process (even bread, crackers, etc).

Professor Bray of the Pennington research center - a lean, bespectacled man who had spent much of his career studying obesity and diabetes - said he had been pondering the obesity problem for several years when, in early 2002, he had a sudden insight. Charting federal data on the consumption of high-fructose corn syrup against data on obesity rates, he found amazing parallels between his two graphs.

Starting in 1980, around the time that manufacturers started replacing sugar in sodas with a more cheaply produced sweetener - high-fructose corn syrup - there was a sharp increase in male and female obesity in the United States. From 1980 to 2000, the incidence of obesity doubled, after having remained relatively flat for the preceding 20 years, the data showed. Could high-fructose corn syrup be making us fat, Professor Bray wondered? After all, according to his analysis of government consumption data, per capita intake of the syrup had increased by more than 1,000 percent from 1970 to 1990, exceeding the changes in the intake of any other food group tracked by the Department of Agriculture. (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/02/business/yourmoney/02syrup.html?_r=1)

Not only is its benefit in doubt, the FDA knows it's tainted with mercury of all things! (http://www.ehjournal.net/content/8/1/2) "Several chemicals are required to make HFCS, including caustic soda, hydrochloric acid, alpha-amylase, gluco-amylase, isomerase, ilter aid, powdered carbon, calcium chloride, and magnesium sulfate." (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070823094819.htm) Caustic soda and hydrochloric acid can contain mercury. There is also evidence that HFCS inhibits the production of leptin, which is what triggers hunger. So, HFCS can make us think we're hungrier than we are, and not know when we're satisfied. It's also been suggested that once you have it you want more. No wonder obesity has become a problem.

There are serious implications for HFCS in both the existence of diabetes and some of its complications. It was first thought that fructose was more beneficial for diabetics than glucose, but now research is showing the opposite. Fructose reduces the affinity of insulin for its receptor, which is the hallmark of type-2 diabetes. This is the first step for glucose to enter a cell and be metabolized. As a result, the body needs to pump out more insulin to handle the same amount of glucose. (H. Hallfrisch, et al.,The Effects of Fructose on Blood Lipid Levels, American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 37: 5, 1983, 740-748). "Because it is metabolized by the liver, fructose does not cause the pancreas to release insulin the way it normally does. Fructose converts to fat more than any other sugar." (http://www.westonaprice.org/modernfood/highfructose.html#author#author) Chi-Tang Ho, Ph.D., did chemical tests among 11 different soft drinks containing HFCS. He found 'astonishingly high' levels of reactive carbonyls (believed to cause tissue damage) in those beverages. These reactive carbonyls are not present in table sugar. "Reactive carbonyls also are elevated in the blood of individuals with diabetes and linked to the complications of that disease. Based on the study data, Ho estimates that a single can of soda contains about five times the concentration of reactive carbonyls than the concentration found in the blood of an adult person with diabetes." (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070823094819.htm)

Setting all the research aside, I know how I felt when I wasn?t eating anything with HFCS or artificial sweeteners. I know that God intends the best for us, which He created first - natural sugar, not manufactured (in moderation, of course). While I'm weak and give in to my cravings for Coke, I have to admit that ridding myself of all artificial sweeteners, especially HFCS, is the best thing I can do for myself.

For more information:

http://www.becomehealthynow.com/article/carbs/1170/1/

http://www.nutraingredients-usa.com/Regulation/HFCS-is-not-natural-says-FDA

http://skeptoid.com/episodes/4157

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-fructose_corn_syrup

http://www.thenutritionreporter.com/fructose_dangers.html

http://www.pacifichealthlabs.com/web/Article-19,The_Truth_About_High_Fructose_Corn_Syrup.html

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/26/AR2009012601831.html

http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/2008/08/20/4274/the-dangers-of-high-fructose-corn-syrup

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1055092/the_truth_about_high_fructose_corn.html?cat=5

You heard me. Now I’m giving myself shots twice a day. The metformin is working, but not enough, so my endocrinologist (aka, Gift from God) decided to start me on Byetta. It helps your body to produce the right amount of insulin at the right time. Some people have issues with nausea temporarily and bruising at the injection site, but I started it yesterday, and have had no problems so far (knock on wood).

This fits right along with a really nice time I had with a friend from church yesterday (thanks, Mary Anne!). We talked about nutrition and the American “diet” (again, stay tuned for information on the evils of High Fructose Corn Syrup), exercise, etc. We agreed to hold each other accountable to a few things, and I’m very excited about it. First and foremost, I have to make sure I go grocery shopping. I know it sounds silly, but I hate to shop for groceries; however, when I have food at home, I hardly ever eat fast food (which we all know is the slow death of this country, not to mention expensive). We also talked about being fully present when eating. America is always “go, go, go!;” as a result, we inhale food on the way from one thing to another. We don’t give out brains time to catch up with our bodies to tell us we’re satisfied. We just mindlessly shove food in our mouths. Not good. Remember that your body is a temple, and treat it as such.

If you’re new to this blog, you may not know that three friends and I went to four Proclaimers concerts last year in 5 days. We had a blast with the twins and their band, including meeting them at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and hanging with them there for the afternoon. (Search the blog for more info) We were planning on going to two concerts this year as well, but my friends are now involved in a community theater production and they can’t really afford the time off work. So, I’m sad that we won’t get to see them again, but I’m using the time I’ve already asked off to go see Mathias (that wonderful man of mine!). The real losers in all this are the Proclaimers, since they won’t get to see us this year.

Stay tuned for a rant against High Fructose Corn Syrup

I'm on day two of reading through the Bible in year: so far so good (lol). I'm using blueletterbible.org to keep track of what I'm reading. I really like their plans. They have several different ways to go through (traditional canon, chronological, NT/OT, etc.), so you have choices. I've chosen to go through chronologically. (I've read several places that the Bible as we know it is not in the order in which it was written. Does that disturb anyone else?!) Anyway, I mark off as I read a chapter, so the site keeps track of what I've read. It also can hold you accountable if you so choose, which I did. There are TONS of study aids, suggestions for song/music, lexicons, etc. for every verse. I think this is going to go well. It helps that I?m at work most days, so taking a few minutes to read every day is pretty easy.

I've now had two treatments. (Don't worry, I won't tell you about every single one.) I could tell that I was more relaxed and focused. At least 2 people as me who gave me all the sugar, so I guess that means my energy was up, too. I'm hopeful that this bodes well for the future.

In semi-related news, my friend Marlene and I have decided to hold each other accountable to reading through the Bible in a year. I'm excited but nervous about it. I've always had a REALLY hard time being in the Word every day, so I'm nervous that I'll fail again. I know that shouldn't be my focus, but that's how anxiety works. Pray for us.

I’ve had my first neurofeedback treatment, and I can already tell a difference. That day, my muscles were less tense; I felt more at peace, etc. Yesterday and today, I’ve been accused of having too much sugar. I can only assume that that means I’m more energetic than usual. I can tell that I’m more focused and less anxious. If this is the result after one session, I have high hopes. I believe I’m supposed to do it twice a week for 22 weeks or something, so it’s a commitment, but well worth it.

On a totally different note, I’m totally head over heals for my little kitten Francis. He is so sweet and cuddly and fun and lovey. I have trouble even being away from him for work! Sad, but true.

Some of you know that I’ve been contemplating how much I talk. It’s a LOT, to understate. A few months ago, I mentioned thinking that I should be more deliberate about what I say. I’ve been doing that more in the last 2 weeks than all those months before. As a consequence, I’ve been much less talkative than usual. This could also be a result of less anxiety (one of the “symptoms” is excess chatter). Because of this, everyone at works asks me if I’m all right. I am. I’m just fine. I just don’t need to say as much as usual. I’m being more internal than external. It could also be from the influence of my introvert boyfriend. Who know? Maybe God is prepping me to speak less so I write more? That would be interesting, no?

My next step in being content internally would be to be ok with being alone; as it is, I HATE being alone or doing anything alone. Part of the reason for that is how extroverted I am, but it’s even more due to my anxiety. I have to learn to let that go, to be ok with hearing my own thoughts, etc. Of course, that’s hard to do with racing thoughts, so I hope this will get easier with therapy, better meds, neurofeedback, and of course God.

I have been dealing with chronic depression since at least the age of 11. I have been to several counselors and have taken various medications, both of which have helped a great deal. I always felt that this was my major issue and primary cross to bear. I have since realized (through God, mom, and my therapist) that my depression is just the result of having Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

People with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) go through the day filled with exaggerated worry and tension, even though there is little or nothing to provoke it. They anticipate disaster and are overly concerned about health issues, money, family problems, or difficulties at work. Sometimes just the thought of getting through the day produces anxiety.

GAD is diagnosed when a person worries excessively about a variety of everyday problems for at least 6 months.13 People with GAD can’t seem to get rid of their concerns, even though they usually realize that their anxiety is more intense than the situation warrants. They can’t relax, startle easily, and have difficulty concentrating. Often they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Physical symptoms that often accompany the anxiety include fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, nausea, lightheadedness, having to go to the bathroom frequently, feeling out of breath, and hot flashes.

Other anxiety disorders, depression, or substance abuse2,4 often accompany GAD, which rarely occurs alone. GAD is commonly treated with medication or cognitive-behavioral therapy, but co-occurring conditions must also be treated using the appropriate therapies. (nimh.nih.gov)

This is the reason I’ve always worried about everything. You may think, “Well, everyone worries, right?” This is more than every day worries. I agonized in Staples yesterday about choosing an assigment planner for classes. I went up and down the aisles at least 10 times. When I think I’ve hurt someone or if someone has hurt me, I think about the conversation that happened and the ones that could/should have over and over for months, sometimes years. When I was 13, I’d lay in bed for hours at night distraught about whether or not my children would be kind to animals! Not normal.

Because I thought that everyone thinks the way I do, I never really talked about what went on in my head much. Just in the last few years, I’ve said things that made my mom take notice. She suggested that I may have anxiety issues. Since then, I’ve started taking medication for that as well, going to a therapist again, and working my way through the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. I have also taken steps to get neurofeedback done.

My mother says, “Anxiety steals the joy from life.” Thus, the depression. As frustrating as it is to have something like this, it’s good to be able to label it so I can start to deal with it.

No, I'm not in grad school yet. I’m just in the process of applying (yes, still). I’ve finished the application for Kent State, but not yet for OSU. You might wonder why. Well, apparently OSU likes to make sure you’re broke and frustrated before you even turn in your application. They’ve started using this new system to apply online. Lucky us, huh? Well, the system is fine, but in addition to the application fee of $40 from OSU this system charges $100 to apply. WHAT?! You’ve got to be kidding me. As if that’s not bad enough, even though they require a transcript from any other schools, this new system still requires you to input every single class you’ve ever taken individually. How is this suppose to be helpful to anyone. By contrast, Kent only charges $30, and has none of the hoops that OSU does. It’s almost like OSU doesn’t want people to apply. Hmmm…

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18 . Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three

thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the HELL is going on.

this game is way fun. go to this site, and sign up even if you don't want to play, 'cause then i'll get some free items!

I am sick to death of what this society has done to us as women. Watch the video at the link.